Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Living in Three Worlds

During my Election Day blog, I talked a bit how jarring it was to move back and forth between my English and Spanish world. After being at site for two months, I have come to realize that I have three different worlds that I live in – my Spanish world, my own little world, and my gringo world.

Obviously, my Spanish world is when I’m in my community and interacting with the folks here. Interacting is a good way to describe it, because saying talking and listening would leave out the big portion of finger pointing and hand gestures that help me to fully understand something. My favorite gesture is the finger point to the sky that represents the person is interested in the United States. Yes, it took me a few times to catch onto this, but now I’m good to go. Being in my Spanish world can be mentally exhausting, but the challenge is fun.

The second world that I know is my own little world. This expression came from my dad when he used it to describe my cousin once. Many years ago, my dad, my cousin and I went to a mall after Thanksgiving where my cousin lived. After my cousin navigated us to the mall, we started to walk to the entrance of the bookstore. As we neared the door, my cousin started walking really fast oblivious to the situation and pretty soon he was well ahead of us. This lead my dad to remark, “there goes Ryan into his own little world”. Now I find me in my own little world often as this is when I’m listening to my iPod, reading a book, or using the computer. Similar to my cousin, when I’m in my own world, I tune out the world around me.

Finally there is my gringo world where I’m talking with friends and family back home or hanging out with some other volunteers here in Panama. The gringo world is a nice change of pace, because it reminds me of life back home in the States.

Each of the three is a different from the next and as a result sometimes shifting between them can be difficult. For instance, during Thanksgiving when I was in Santiago, I had taken the bus there and jammed on my iPod in my own little world. After getting dropped off, I had a ten minute walk to the house where we were celebrating Thanksgiving. After stopping for a king sized Snickers, I started on my way. A few minutes later , I encountered two other volunteers. As we started to converse, I barely knew how to act at first. My own little world was disturbed and it took me a couple minutes to snap out of it.

Speaking of which, I’ve been in my own little world long enough, time to go back to my Spanish one. Now that’s the one that is toughest to switch my mind into.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

All I Want For Christmas

I remember as a kid, each year, my sisters and I would make lists of things that we would want for Christmas. The excitement in writing those lists was nearly as great as Christmas morning. There was a certain joy in comparing lists and racking your brain in trying to complete your list. It’s like the child’s version of coming up with a political bill. You get to think through the parts of the list. You seek input from friends. After the list is drafted, you go around and make your case to parties involved in the process. Ultimately, though, the final say is out of your hands. You just have to wait and see if the items in the list pass. Sometimes there’s joy. Sometimes there’s disappointment.

As I’ve gotten older, I really don’t write down my Christmas wish lists anymore. I would usually keep little mental notes and when asked I would jog my memory and tell Santa my family. This year, though, my wish list is pretty empty. My Mom keeps asking me in emails if I need anything, and since my first care package was sent, my answer has been nope. I have all the material things I need down here. More importantly, I have all the things in my life that make it great- a great family, great friends, a great new community, a great host family, a great opportunity to do some work that can really improve the lives of people. I can’t ask for much more.

Of course, I wouldn’t be completely truthful if I said I didn’t want anything for Christmas. My sisters are sending me some books and I’m sure my parents will come up with something interesting. Naturally, it would nice if that goofy thing that CNN introduced on Election Night, where someone is beamed into a location from somewhere else, were available it would be nice to be there for Christmas Dinner. However, since that’s not possible, the one thing I want for Christmas is to see the Celtics-Lakers Christmas Day game.

Having caught only brief moments of basketball this year, I can’t miss this showdown of the rematch of last years NBA Finals. That’s why, just like I was 12 again, I’ve already got my plan laid out on how to watch the game. I’ve got my lines already rehearsed in Spanish to get the game on the television. Now I just have to wait and see.

Hopefully, this wish ends in joy. Feliz Navidad.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Seeeeeecrets

There are some things that are best kept to yourself – like your social security number or admitting that you enjoy Joey Lawerence’s catchphrase “Woah”. Being in Panama I had a chance to keep something I did away from the folks back in the States. However, one day when I was talking to my sister, I decided to come clean – I had bought a pair of Crocs.

You see, this is a big deal, because in the past, both my sister and I had ridiculed our cousin after he bought a pair and then had the audacity to wear them out in public. So, naturally, when I broke the news to my sister, she went nuts on me. Pretty soon I was trying to defend myself in much the same fashion that my dad did when he was contemplating buying a Subaru Baja. At that time, he used words like “practically” and “versatile” to try to sell me on the car. I wasn’t buying it and I fired back that the car drove stiff, had bad sightlines and, most importantly, hideous looking. He held strong and went ahead with the purchase, so I knew if my dad could defend his auspicious decision, if I held my ground, I could do the same.

I started off telling her that it can be quite muddy here and I’m going to be living near water, so the Crocs are very “versatile” and “practical” (those buzzwords again!). Eventually, she reluctantly came around to my point of view. Of course, that doesn’t mean I actually like the things, but I have to say thus far they have been pretty useful here.

And that’s where they will stay – here. Unlike my dad and his Baja, my purchase of the Crocs was not a long term one. When I’m cleaning out my stuff after my two years are up, they will be the first things discarded. That’s why I’ve started a countdown of how many days I have left in Panama. Not because I’m anxious to return home, instead I want to know how soon I can rid myself of these monstrosities.

Only 671 days left.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I Was There in Spirit

As my sister Johnna mentioned in the comments section of my Thanksgiving post, the family decided to have a little moment for all the family members not at Thanksgiving this year. She sent me the photos, so I decided to post them.

Before we get to them, I should mention this idea was the brainchild of my future brother-in-law Dan (April 4, 2009!). As you can see, they even added in a nice touch of the Spanish speaking beer. Of course, they could have gone the extra mile and gotten one of the four Panamian Beers, but it's the thought that counts. To read more about the types of beer here in Panama, you can check out my friends (Jay and Julia) panablog taste test they did with some other volunteers from our group. It's quite good.

OK, the pictures.






























As, you can see I'm hanging out in the photo with some yummy turkey and the beer. The photo is from my eighth grade year and I really don't have a lot to say about it, other than at one time I was a big fan of Zach Morris. So, I thought that outfit was something he would wear.


The second photo features other members of the family that weren't at Thanksgiving as well...

From the left:
My cousin Ryan. Looking extremely gabbish in his senior photo from high school. I can safely report he doesn't sport that haircut any longer.

Me.

My cousin Colin. Ryan's younger brother. The photo is just after boot camp for the Navy.

My Uncle Michael. My dad's younger brother. No it's not a Halloween photo. He was a professional boxer.

If your wondering where those muscles are at on me, well, I wonder about it too.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's December, really?

I know the calendar says it’s December, but I don’t believe it. To me, I still think it is late August. Why? Because the weather here is still like it was when I left the states in early August.

Hot.

One of the things about being raised in West Virginia is living in a climate that has all four seasons. Therefore, the weather always told me what time of year it was. Hot weather meant June-August, while freezing my butt off said it was December-March. Of course, the trees would tell me when Fall had come. This year there was no Fall. So, it really didn’t dawn on me what time of the year it was until my mom emailed me a couple weeks back to say they had two inches of snow. Meanwhile, while I was reading the email, I was sweating through my shirt. Something was wrong with the whole thing from my perspective.

But that’s the way things are here. Different. (Note: actual details may not be factual due to the whole language barrier thing) There are two main seasons – rainy and dry. Right now, the rainy season is finishing up, as it last from April through mid December. Soon the sun will be out always and eventually there won’t be a cloud in the sky during late January into February. I have been told it gets really, really hot during this time. This should be interesting, because right now I think it’s really, really hot.

It is that hot weather that makes it impossible for me to believe it is December and Christmas is just around the corner. I know the calendar says it, but I’m not buying it. Christmas has always been cold weather and snow. Not heat and sweat.

That’s why this year I’m leaving my stocking in the closet and will opt instead for sunscreen and a beach towel. However, I will still accept gifts; just don’t expect one from down here.

You know, I guess, I always was the selfish one.